Whose Square Is It Anyway?
by Queen Luana
Summary: Here you go, another 'Whose line is it anyway' fic. You oughta love them. It includes all your favorite FFcharacters and your favorite hosts: Queen Luana & SS Jentl!
1. Chapter 1

**Queen Luana: **Welcome humor-luvers! This is a brand new fanfic I made since I have noticed, there are so many fanfics about 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?' that my dear friend SS Jentl and I decided to make ourselves a fanfic as well.

**SS Jentl:** You've got that right. Please do keep in mind that some shows mentioned in this fanfic are taken frm our point of view, which means, we only know them in Dutch. So forgive us if there are some mistakes in the quotes or titles, but please do be so friendly to point them out for us, okay?

**Queen Luana:** And we are also aware there might be some OOCness. Try to ignore. Enjoy!

* * *

**Auron, Riku, Squall & Ansem**

Queen Luana and SS Jentl run up enthousiastically onto the stage, which is actually just a little table they have placed in the middle of their living room since there were some financial problems (being cheap, naming one).

"Welcome dear viewers to 'Whose Square is it anyway!' May I mention it's SS Jentl who made up the idiotic title."

"No you mayn't," SS Jentl snaps then continues with a broad smile. "You all know the show! Where the points are as useless as Queen Luana in this fanfic!"

"Hey!"

"That's right, they're that useless."

Queen clears throat, glaring at SS Jentl who happily shakes the notes inside the hat. "Here are our contestants for today," Luana says and aims a flashlight on the couch, where four Square figures are seated. "Cold heart Riku, colder heart Auron, coldest heart Squall and no heart Ansem!" All nod.

"Say Squall, lemme ask you something," SS Jentl says holding hir mic in front of Squall's cool face. "How the hell did Queen Luana get you on this show?" Squall says nothing, only frowns. "I see… denying means yes."

"Hey, did you know Squall actually stands for a storm?" Queen Luana says.

"Well well well," SS Jentl chuckles. "Somebody earns his name around here!" Squall frowns harder.

"But enough chit chat with our folks here!" Queen Luana says smiling. "Let's get ready for a dazzling game of 'Film, TV and Theatre styles'! Can I get a whoop whoop everyone!"

DBZ cast tied to the chairs all sweatdrop and Goku raises his hand, slightly trembling: "Whoopy?"

"No, damn it!" Queen Luana cries and pulls out bazooka. "WHOOP WHOOP!"

Goku screams and gets blown away by bazooka. The entire cast looks horror struck as Queen Luana reloads. They all start applausing and cheering, loud 'whoop whoop's.

Queen Luana smiles satisfied and places the bazooka under the improvised stage. "Okay now… first I'm gonna need some TV shows or genres… ANY SUGGESTIONS?"

"Dora the explorer!" "War drama!" "E.R!" "Comedy!"

Queen Luana smiles. "Thank you." DBZ cast sighes in relief.

"Okay, you guys know how it works!" SS Jentl says. "You start playing the little scene and when I honk, you have to switch the genre. Okay, your situation is: you're lost in the rain forrest and you encounter a tiger. Ansem, you get to sit this one out."

Ansem merely nods.

Riku, Auron and Squall pretend to walk through the rain forrest. Riku is obviously confused with the map. "Riku, just admit we're lost," Squall sighes.

"No, I just enjoy turning maps round and round!" Riku snaps and suddenly they all gasp.

"A tiger!" Auron cries. "We need to think of something, fast!"

Queen Luana drives up her father's car and honks. "Dora the explorer!"

Squall turns to the audience. "Maybe there's something in my backpack that could help us defeat the tiger. And we need your help. First, say backpack!"

Riku jumps up and down excitedly. "Say backpack! Say backpack!"

The Queen honks again. "War drama!"

Auron pulls out something from Squall's imaginairy backpack. "This bazooka will do the trick!" he cries and kneels down.

"Don't be an idiot, Auron!" Squall shouts into his ear. "Retreat!"

"I just want to defend my country, sir!" Auron cries.

"Retreat, private, and that's an order!"

Riku slaps him on the back. "Come on man, you couldn't possibly take care of that tiger all by yourself with just an all-destructing bazooka at hand!"

"Sorry, but I have to do it!" Auron says and fires.

"E.R!"

Riku falls down onto the ground and Auron and Squall lean over. Squall pulls on his gloves, "Okay, what do we have here?"

"Soldier, doctor. Forgot to step away from behind the bazooka when it fired," Auron explains. "Sad…"

"He already lost much blood, we have to act quickly!" Squall says and starts doing lots of doctor stuff. "Reminds me of it, my wife asked if you could come over for dinner tonight. She's going to prepare her famous stew!"

"Sounds lovely!" Auron says. "Oh… but I think you just lost your patient."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

"No I…" Squall notices the horizontal line on the screen and Auron makes a long 'beep'. "Oh, yeah I guess I did. Eh, no big deal. Happens all the time around here."

"Comedy!"

"Hey, no harm done," Riku says. "You know, dying isn't too bad. But you're so stiff from it afterwards…" All start laughing uncontrolably for five more minutes until SS Jentl finally buzzes.

"Sorry it took so long," SS Jentl apologises. "I wanted to buzz earlier but, it's Luana's task actually and… she was uh… distracted for a moment. Yeah, that'll do."

Queen Luana runs on stage smiling happily, hair ruffles and blouse half-open. "Sorry. Krillin and I hadn't spoken for a while."

"No kidding."

"We'll be right back after the intermission."

* * *

**Queen Luana: **That turned out pretty good. 

**SS Jentl:** Yeah, we played the little sketch with some friends. I'm still laughing. (giggles)

**Queen Luana:** There will be more coming very soon and don't mind the DBZ cast being put in as the audience. If you want to be in the audience, sign a review and will send you a ticked before 2015.

**SS Jentl:** And remember, if America can break promises for a better world… so can we!


	2. Chapter 2

**Queen Luana: **We're BACK!

**SS Jentl: **Muahahaaa!

**Queen Luana:** Together with our favorite Squaresoft/Square Enix/Square heartless. Welcome to our next half. Jentl?

**SS Jentl:** MUAHAHAHAHAA!

**Queen Luana: **Thank you.

* * *

**Scenes from a hat**

"Okay, here we are with the next half of, 'Whose Square is it Anyway?" Queen Luana smiles. "Where the points are as useless as locks on a 24/24 shop!"

"Thanks for staying with our show," SS Jentl fills in. "We're going right on with a great 'Scenes from a hat'! You oughta love that part of the show. Okay everyone, step up and wait patiently for your first topic, let's see here… Things you do NOT want to hear during surgery."

Riku steps up first. "Ah kidneys, they're getting more and more expensive with the day!" He stops cutting his patient. "Hey! This guy still has both!" BUZZ!

Then it's Squall's turn. "Hey! Give that back!" he yells in the distance. "Stupid dog!" BUZZ!

Auron cuts his patient happily. "Lalalalalalaaa… OOPS!" He pulls a painful face. "I hope that wasn't vital…" BUZZ!

"Okay I'm nearly done stitching," Ansem says and then looks at his wrist. "Has anyone seen my watch?" BUZZ!

Squall is flipping through a book in a hurry. "Don't worry, it has to be in here somewhere!" BUZZ!

Riku is looking real tense. "Okay, everyone be real quiet… I really need to concentrate right now…" Luana honks loudly. BUUUUUZZZ!

SS Jentl sniggers. "Hey, you weren't supposed to interfere," she says.

"Yeah, I was a little scared Riku was a good surgeon," Luana smiles. "You can never be too sure, can you? Kay, now let me pick a strip… Things the world really doesn't need."

Riku steps up with a smile, holding something in his hand. "The new ID cards also features finger prints and iris scan. From now on, you'll never have to drag those heavy fingers and eye balls along with you again!" BUZZ!

Auron makes dramatic motions with his hands. "It's new… It's fast… It's thrilling… It's the Barf Slide!" BUZZ!

Ansem chuckles. "Hello, my name is SS Jentl!" BUUUUUZZ!

"Okay Ansem, that's minus 500 points for you," SS Jentl says.

Ansem merely grines. "I didn't have any points yet."

SS Jentl clears her throat and draws another slip. "Okay on to the next one… When people say this you really want to hit them."

Squall sighes deeply. "I like you, but in a different kind of way." BUZZ! "Heh, that one gave so many boys a black eye," Queen Luana grines.

"Wow, is that your girrrrlfriend!" Riku cries excitedly. "What happened to Hannah? Weren't you still with Hannah? Are you Hannah? Hannah was so much prettier…" BUZZ!

Ansem walks up and starts dancing. "Hit me baby one more time!" BUZZ! He recieves a bunch of smacks from Queen Luana. "I hate Britney Spears, haven't ever seen a more naïve stupid person!" she sais and caresses her fists. "My precious…"

Auron looks from one side to another anxiously, then gives Ansem a little push. Immediately a stampede of screaming Sora-fans run up and beat the snot outta Ansem. BUUUUUZZZZ!

SS Jentl giggles. "Poor Ansem… Hey, we've got people watching our show! Cool! Well, except for Luana's little fanclub…"

DBZ gang looks around for a moment then start cheering. "GO LUANA! THIS SHOW ROCKS!"

SS Jentl shakes her head with a grine. "Sweet power of suggestion…" She clears her throat. "Well that's all the time we've got left. And the winner is Riku, since he's the hottest. Insert droolling here." Bunch of Riku-fans drool. SS Jentl twitches. "Uh, Luana, we need someone to mop this up please? Ahem… I was saying, Riku, since you're our winner, you can choose which scene from a hat you want them to do."

Riku grines. "Things you'd never hear you two say!"

Queen Luana sighes. "Very well, but I'm ready to hit the buzzer!"

Squall steps up beaming and hands vowed. "I do!" The others start humming the wedding music. BUZZ! Queen Luana starts foaming around the mouth.

"Oh! You really think I look good in this? Really?" Ansem asks and whipes away a tear from the corner of his eye. The audience is holding Queen Luana back at a leash. BUZZ!

"Oh my God," Auron says nearly crying. "I – I never would've thought I would be nominated for the Noble price of peace!" BUZZ!

Ansem casts a lustful look. "Auron, you are so hot…" "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!" Auron cries. BUUUZZZZ!

"That last I could appreciate," SS Jentl says and chuckles. "Thanks for watching and we'll see you next time on 'Whose square is it anyway?'"

Queen Luana's leash snaps and she rushes towards the four candidates who all scream.

SS Jentl sweatdrops. "But obviously not with these guys… Good night!"

* * *

**Queen Luana: **Wow… Scenes from a Hat really is our favorite round, isn't it?

**SS Jentl:** It's so much humor in so little time.

**Queen Luana:** Yeah… But we'll try to find place for a few other rounds in the next episode. See you then!

**SS Jentl:** Ciao!


	3. Chapter 3

**Queen Luana:** Here we are back again.

**SS Jentl: **Ready to entertain you with some brand new Whose Square is it anyway!

**Queen Luana: **But let's cut the (beep) and continue with our show!

* * *

**Blind date**

Queen Luana run into the kitchen and fight each other. "I'm sitting on the chair!" SS Jentl grumbles through clenched teeth but Queen Luana pulls at her hair and struggles so hard eventually she plumps down onto the chair.

"Welcome to Whose Square is it Anyway!" she smiles broadly. "The show where everything's made up and point are useless! That's right, the points are just as useful as Blind, Silence, Curse and other magic when your fighting bosses! THEY'RE USELESS!"

"So frustrating," Tidus shakes his head sadly.

"But of course!" Queen Luana exclaims happily while she pushes back a struggling SS Jentl who is determined to hop onto the chair. "Let us first say hi to all our candidates! 'I'm not real' Tidus, 'I'm always with you' Sora, 'What did you call me?' Zell and 'Oh poopie' Rikku!" The entire cast nods as everyone in the seats cheers.

"Guess what, we actually got ourself an audience!" SS Jentl says, who finally gives up on trying to get Luana off her chair. "We had a surprising amount of requests for tickets and they all came. It's amazing."

"Because of a great financial boost we're also able to set the next episode in the kitchen!" Queen Luana says. "Which, to my surprise as well, is twice as big as our living room."

"Small architectal fault," SS Jentl murmurs.

"Since our last episode existed out of nearly nothing but 'Scenes from a hat', we're now going to try to do without it."

A loud 'Awww…' emerges from the audience and Jentl shrugs. "It's life people, learn to deal with it. But you know what, if you write lots of reviews we might even grant you the request of which rounds are going to appear in the next show!" An excited 'Ooooh!' is heard this time.

"Got that right," Jentl says. "Anyways, our first round is 'Let's make a date' and it's for all four of you. Rikku, since your our only female at the moment, you can be one of the candidates, Zell, you're our bachelorette."

Zell gets onto his chair grumbling.

"For those who aren't familiar with the show," SS Jentl continues. "In 'Let's make a date' we set off with some sort of Blind Date scene. These guys each get a never seen before enveloppe with a character in it which they have to act out, and our beautiful bachelorette-" Death glare from Zell. "Will have to guess who they are playing."

Tidus sniggers at seeing his enveloppe, Rikku's jaw drops and Sora raises an eyebrow in confussion.

"Take it away, guys," SS Jentl says and buzzes.

"Hi guys!" Zell says and waves his hand. "And hello bachelor number oooone!"

(Schoolkid who got failed by his teacher) "Yes, indeed I was number one!" Tidus cries. "But now… How can you do this to me! It's not human! I didn't have enough time…" He starts crying softly. "Not enough time…"

Zell twitches. "I see…" He clears his throat. "Then let's go over to bachelor number two…"

(Just watched a series of horror movies and is now scared to death) Rikku carefully pops out her head from behind her chair. "Who said that?" She looks around trembling spots Zell and dives back behind her chair with a loud shriek.

"Now I understand why you people are on a dating show," Zell sighes. "Bachelor number three, how are you doing?"

(Thinks he's nominated for an oscar) Sora places his hand on his chest and sighes deeply. "Oh I'm – I'm so happy!" he says and whipes away a tear. "I'm so – Wow! I never thought I'd actually get here I…. Wow…"

"Wow, I think I'm going to be very happy at the end of the show as well," Zell says. "Okay, Bachelor number one, on a sunny hot day I just like to lie down in the grass and enjoy the sun. What would you like to do?"

Tidus jumps up and down. "Oh I know! I know! Uh, don't tell me!" he cries and grabs his head in pain. "Come on… I… Ugh… WHY DO YOU ASK ME SUCH DIFICULT QUESTIONS!" He hangs down his head sobbing.

"It's cool man," Zell says and turns to Rikku. "A chracteristic which makes me unique would be my ability to eat dozens of hot dogs at a time. But bachelor number two, what's your special ability?" Rikku crafeully rises from behind the chair, leans over and whispers: "I see dead people…" Then she quickly ducks behind her chair again.

Zell sweatdrops. "That's cool man. Then, I don't know if I should, bachelor number three. My best friend is my mother, but who do you like a lot?"

Sora sits up straight. "Well, I would like to thank my mother, and Steven of course. And my friends and everyone who has supported me! You guys are the best!" He throws them all a kiss then whipes away another tear. The entire cast now sweatdrops. Queen Luana pokes SS Jentl.

"Buzz it, buzz it now." BUZZ!

"Okay that was ahem – uh – weird!" Queen Luana smiles. "Okay, tell us Zell, who do you think they are?"

"Mental patients?" Zell guesses and then looks at them. "Well, I think Tidus was in a quiz or something…"

SS Jentl checks her card. "Close, he got failed by his teacher."

"That was such an easy part to play," Tidus smiles widely.

"And…" Zell continues. "Rikku had obviously watched too many horror movies." Rikku jumps into Tidus arms when Sora scratches his nose. Once again, everyone sweatdrops. "And Sora was nominated for the oscars, I believe."

"Like he would ever," Rikku mutters from the audience and gets evil glares by Sora-fans. "Uh… popcorn anyone?"

"Well, that's it for now," Queen Luana says. "We'll be back right after the intermission. Go advertisements!"

* * *

**Queen Luana: **That's all folks! 

**SS Jentl:** Tatatatatatatatatatatatatataaaaa!

**SS Jentl & Queen Luana :** (sternly) We do not own the Looney Tunes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Queen Luana: **Welcome, friends and villains!

**SS Jentl:** It's taken us a while but here we are – ENJOY!

* * *

**Questions only**

"Welcome back to 'Whose Square is it anyway?'," SS Jentl says. "Thanks for staying with us. Our next one is a request from an audience member, all gather up for Questions only!" A shared sigh comes from our candidates and they all stand up.

"Okay, Tidus and Rikku start off a conversation," Queen Luana explains. "But they can only use questions. When they can't answer with a question, we buzz 'em and the other takes his place. The scene is: you're both lumbermen and you have to chop down a hundred year old oak in the middle of the woods, but you don't know where your equipment is and you can only use question,s don't forget. Take it away." BUZZ!

"Where's our equipment?" Rikku asks and everyone sniggers.

"Didn't you bring it with you?" Tidus asks surprised.

"Weren't you going to?" Rikku counters.

"Why do I always have to bring the equipment?" Tidus says a little angrily.

"Do I look like I'm capable of bringing the equipment?" Rikku asks.

"Why wouldn't you be able to bring the equipment?"

"Do we have to use the word 'equipment' in every sentence?" Rikku chuckles.

"Uh… yes?" Tidus shurgs and gets buzzed. Zell takes over.

"Do you think we could cut down the tree without the equiment?" he demands.

"Uh… You got a herring with you?" Rikku asks.

"For what?" Zell says ridicously.

"Haven't you seen 'The Holy Grale'?" Rikku sighs.

"Weren't we looking for our equipment?" Zell says. Rikku breaks down laughing and is buzzed. Sora takes over.

"Why isn't this tree down yet?" Sora demands and puts his hands in his tighs.

"What makes you think it isn't down yet?" Zell asks innocently.

"Why else would it still be standing up straight?" Sora tries to suppress his chuckle. Zell blinks at him for a moment then places a hand on Sora's shoulder.

"Did you take your pills this morning, sir?" he asks sympathetically. BUZZ! SS Jentl is nearly crying with laughter.

"We'll be right back, so don't go away!" Queen Luana says, then hands Sora a pill and a glass of water. He takes it with a smile and downs it, then sits down and looks ahead of him blankly.

……………………………………………………………..

"Welcome back," Queen Luana says. "And tonight's winner is… me! Since I kept Sora sane, who knows what he would've done without his pill." Sora smiles at this. "Tonight we'l have our cast read the credits for you as lumbermen chopping down a tree. Go ahead and review!"

Tidus is chopping into Zell. "Dan…" He chops again. "Peter… Son..!" Zell falls over. Rikku holds her hands at her mouth.

"Tom Paaaaaaaaaaaaaark!"

* * *

**Queen Luana: **That was fun.

**SS Jentl: **Please review. And if you're really sweet we'll listen to your requests. Bye now!


	5. Chapter 5

**Queen Luana: **Yessirre, I'm on fire!

**SS Jentl: **(licks finger then presses it against Queen Luana's cheek) KSSSSSSS! Hot lady!

**Queen Luana: **Another episode! Wheeeeh!

* * *

**What's that?**

"Welcome to another exciting episode of 'Whose Square is it Anyway?'," SS Jentl announces. "On tonight's show, 'You shall be slain' Paine! 'Just you and me' Kairi! 'What's up, ya?' Wakka! And 'Teehee' Selphie!" SS Jentl sits down in the chair. "And I'm your host SS Jentl. Queen Luana isn't here because I stole her clock radio. Haha… So once again, welcome to Whose Square is it Anyway? The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points are just like whether Shelinda would die in Final Fantasy X. Who cares! It doesn't matter." Approving nod from Wakka.

"We shall continue with a game called 'Two line vocabulary'. This will be lots of fun for Selphie and Kairi, but very frustrating for Wakka. Come on up guys." They step up, Kairi and Selphie very excited, Wakka scowling. "Okay so, Selphie your two lines are: 'What's that?' and 'I don't think you're supposed to do that'"

Seplhie giggles. "I'm gonna use that first one a lot. A lot a lot!" Wakka groans.

"And Kairi, your two lines are 'I love it when you do that' and 'Hey, who do you think you are?'," SS Jentl says. "Wakka, I'm already feeling sorry for you."

"Did you notice all our lines end with 'that'?" Kairi says.

"I don't know, I don't care," SS Jentl shrugs. "Okay, now, the scene is: you've all been abducted by aliens, and now you're trying to figure out how to escape. Take it away."

"Okay, I'm almost done picking this lock," Wakka mutters leaning over.

"I don't think you're supposed to do that,"Selphie says.

"Hey! I'm trying to get us out of here, so do you mind!" Wakka says frsutrated.

"Oh, I love it when you do that," Kairi says and strokes his back.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Wakka says. "Aha! I've opened it."

"What's that?" Selphie says pointing at Wakka's hand.

"It's a hair clip, I used it to open the door," Wakka sighs.

"What's that?" Selphie now pointing at the door.

"That's a door, it's used to get in and out of rooms," Wakka says already annoyed.

"Hey, who do you think you are?" Kairi says.

"Me? I think I'm the one saving your ass!" Wakka says now getting seriously pissed off.

"Oh, I love it when you do that," Kairi now smiles and strokes a hand through Wakka's hair..

"I don't think your supposed to do that," Selphie tells her. Wakka groans and walks out of the room.

"Okay, now, there may be guards around here so we better be careful," he says. "And warn me when you see one…"

"WHAT'S THAT!" Selphie shrieks and both Kairi and Wakka leap into the air. Wakka calms down and slaps Selphie.

"That's a fridge!" he says through gritted teeth and Selphie squals.

"I don't think you're supposed to do that!" she cries.

"Oh, I love it when you do that," Kairi smiles and Selphie starts sobbing. She looks up.

"What's that?"

"Oh no!" Wakka cries. "It's the alarm, they've found us!" He coughs. "Poison gas!"

"What's that?" Selphie asks.

"It kills you…" Wakka coughs and sinks to his knees.

"Oh… uche… I love it when you do that…" Kairi sobs. She and Wakka drop dead. Selphie shakes her head.

"I don't think you're supposed to do that." BUZZ!

SS Jentl is laughing. "Oh, don't you love teasing Wakka?"

"Sure do!" Selphie and Kairi smile widely. SS Jentl shakes her head still laughing loudly.

"We'll be right back with World's Worst, and maybe Queen Luana, so don't go away!"

* * *

**Queen Luana: **See you later my buddies! 

**SS Jentl:** And don't forget to review!

**Queen Luana: **Oh, we might be doing a Whose Line as well, so if you've got good lines, post them in a review.

**SS Jentl: **Same goes for World's Worst and Scenes from a hat.


	6. Chapter 6

**Queen Luana: **Sorry it took so long! I've been so busy busy busy!

**SS Jentl: **And suffering from amnesia!

**Queen Luana:** Who asked you, freak of nature?

**SS Jentl:** Morning temper anyone? Anyway, here's our next chapter.

* * *

**World's worst**

SS Jentl smiles widely. "Hi there, welcome back to whose square is it anyway!" Queen Luana comes rushing into the kitchen, tooth brush in one mouth corner, hair messed up and still in her jammies. "My my, look who finally got out of bed."

"Shuck you," Queen Luana grumbles and continues brushing her teeth.

"Because of a request we'll now go over to World's Worst, we all love that game since it often includes making fun of other characters," SS Jentl smiles and holds up her cards. "Yessiree, bonus points if you make fun of others. Now if you all step up for … Okay, the world's worst battle cries!"

Selphie looks high up and the air and sighes really pissed. "Just when you've unequipped your GF…" BUZZ!

"Pikachu, I choose you!" Kairi squeels. BUZZ!

"Ferbreeze™ is on sale at Wallmart!" Selphie yells and everyone eyes her weirdly. BUZZ!

Kairi pouts her lips. "You wouldn't harm me, now, would you?" And flutters. BUZZ!

"You can't harm me!" Wakka says arrogantly. "I'm Queen Luana, everyone loves me!" BUZZ!

And another famous death glare from Queen Luana who waves her toothbrush at him. "Ye be warned."

"Super Mega Ultratastic Mayonaiseattack!" Wakka says very dramatically. BUZZ!

There's some hesitation and shrugging Wakka steps up again. "So, you're immune to silence huh, all right," he says then smirks, "but how about tickling?" BUZZ!

Selphie smiles radiantly. "All we want, is give peace a chance," she sings and beckons to join on. "Come on, don't be shy." BUZZ!

Wakka leans over. "Hey, lemme make you a deal. You let me beat you and I'll keep my pants up." BUZZ!

"Wakka, you use that line you'd end up being the best guardian ever," SS Jentl smiles.

"Thash ish sho trrrue," Queen Luana agrees then spits out the toothpaste. "Thousand points for that one."

SS Jentl shakes her head smiling. "God I love hosting this show… But we're… no wait, our contestants are completely out of ideas."

Major Final Fantasy death glares, if you may.

"So, we'll stop it here. But just for the record, we're back in action and yes, we will include another Scenes from a hat soon since so many people have been requesting it."

"Keep it minthy fresh," Queen Luana smiles and mouth washes.

* * *

**SS Jentl:** Keep those requests and reviews coming. We are not dead.

**Queen Luana:** Well said!


	7. Chapter 7

**Queen Luana :** Well what do you know, an almost immediate update !

**Several readers:** (audible gasp)

**SS Jentl:** Like I said, we're not dead.

**Queen Luana:** And here we go again!

* * *

**Irish drinking song**

"Yes, we are back!" Queen Luana smiles broadly now with combed hair and decent clothing. "It is almost twelve o' clock but we will continue! I've got cola! Cola cola cola!"

"Oh, yes, by the way," SS Jentl says and reads from a card, "we've had a request of someone wanting to be picked out of the audience. We took the liberty of sending him a new ticket since the old one expired about two centuries ago. We've given our cast a dictionary, but so far they haven't found a word rhyming with 1wngdngl yet, but as soon as they do, we'll let you know."

"Actually I think it stands for one winged angel," Selphie hints.

Queen Luana buzzes. "You don't speak unless it's funny, stupid, hyperactive or extremely adorable," she snaps.

Selphie shrinks and continues scanning her dictionary.

"In the meantime," SS Jentl continues, "we'll move on to a game called Irish drinking song, also a request. And guess what." She throws a meaningful look at Paine. "Since some of us still haven't done a darn thing on this show, they'll be forced to now since our members have to sing a song one line at a time."

Paine snorts. "Fine."

"It talks," Queen Luana gasps and takes the card from SS Jentl. "Very well then all of you, step up. We will give you a topic which we have given lots of thought."

"Now you didn't," Kairi says. "I saw you writing it down five seconds ago." Queen Luana throws away her pen and hits 1wngdngl in the eye.

"Whoops, sorry there," she appologises. "Better find a word that rhymes before we get sued." She clears her troat. "Anyhow. Let's begin and the topic is: fell of a chocobo. That should do it. Hey, now it's your problem. Take it away, we've kidnapped Rain from the Deling City bar to play the theme."

Rain sweatdrops and starts playing when the cast open their mouths in a lood 'oooh'.

"I got myself a chocobo," sings Wakka.

"She was very small," Kairi tunes in.

"She was very yellow," Selphie sings.

"She wasn't very tall," Paine mutters.

"I'll love her like no other."

"I swear I'll love her most," Kairi says then raises an eyebrow and mutters: "Is that a correct sentence?"

"Because she is so fluffy," Selphie smiles.

"I want to kill the host," Paine finishes and Queen Luana runs and hides behind Sky Bolt.

"I called her lil' sunshine," Kairi continues the song.

"And took her for a walk."

"I gave her lots of things to eat."

"I even learned her talk."

"I never saw it coming," Kairi says and raises an eyebrow at Wakka.

"But then she said to me."

"Hey girl, guess what."

"I really gotta pee!"

SS Jentl shakes her head sadly seeing how the song is getting off track.

"She started running faster," Selphie sings ever so brightly.

"She went on and on."

"Until I fell off her back."

"I know a boy named Ron," Kairi says, clueless.

"I landed on my bum," Selphie giggles.

"I landed on my back."

"And then I landed on my head."

"And a guy named Zack!" Kairi sings proudly.

"Only one more verse," SS Jentl reassures the audience.

"Thank God it's almost over," Paine sighes.

"My chocobo is gone."

"Are we getting payed for this?"

"Hey, we're almost done."

Both the hosts swallow.

"They didn't take my weapons."

"They didn't take my ball."

"Let's go kick their ass now."

"They ran off to the hall!"

While Rain ends the song now a little more cheerfully the four improvisers run past the audience into the hall.

* * *

SS Jentl and Queen Luana appear behind the table again, panting and clothes torn. "Yeah, so uh," SS Jentl pants, "what a great Irish drinking song that was."

"I liked the pee part," Queen Luana says quietly. "How about we now go over to another quiet little game of Scenes from a Hat."

Loud cheers from the audience.

"Okay, but I want to get lots of points for this," Paine says.

"Sure, whatever," SS Jentl says. "They don't matter. Have a million of them!"

Queen Luana draws a strip. "Okay, let's see here. What Squall really means when he says 'whatever'. Well, that should be interesting."

Selphie skips forward and looks at the audience with puppy eyes. "Hug me." BUZZ!

Kairi waves from one side to another. "Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya…" BUZZ!

Wakka looks up and puts his hans in his pockets. "Uhm, let's see. Two large cheese pizzas with everything on it." BUZZ!

"Yes, pizza people do know what you want," Queen Luana says and draws the next strip. "Bad spells."

Selphie makes a serene hand motion. "Laxative." BUZZ! But she runs back up. "Laxatega." BUZZ!

"Ugh, the mental images!" SS Jentl cries.

Wakka steps up as well. "Richard Simmonsga!" BUZZ!

"Next!" SS Jentl exclaims loudly and pulls a strip from the hat. "What Squall really thinks of Rinoa," she reads and flips the paper over. "Man, Squall sure is the popular one these days huh."

Bunch of drooling Squall fans nod. Queen Luana grabs the mop. "I got it."

Kairi smiles widely. "You're like a big sister to me!" BUZZ!

Wakka walks up and smirks. "Prroaw…" BUZZ!

"Yoh Rinoa," Paine says, "you lookin' mighty fiiine. Get that ass over here girl, uhu." Everyone stares at her with wide open eyes. "Well, I had to say something," she says. BUZZ!

Selphie steps up and drools. BUZZ!

"Okay, that's it for today everyone," Queen Luana smiles. "We'll be back soon enough with some new people. But for tonight the winner is Wakka for holding up with all these girls."

Wakka nods.

"And the others may read the credits for you as if they really need to pee. Goodnight."

Everyone grabs for their crotch. "Aw, man… Dan Patterson…" Kairi twitches.

"Gimme Tom Park, nooow!" Selphie cries.

Paine is crouching behind the table. "Hellooo? We're out of Mark Leveson!"

* * *

**Queen Luana: **There, I feel as if I'm keeping my promises. Late, but I'm keeping them.

**SS Jentl:** To think that those four have been kamping in your kitchen for over a year now.

**Queen Luana:** Yeah, wonder how they managed to survive with my dad's nightly promenades to the fridge. But anyway people, you know the drill. Don't make me say it. Please, don't make me beg. Wait. I already did.


	8. Chapter 8

**Queen Luana :** Muahaha, we're back !

**SS Jentl:** With another episode!

**Queen Luana:** And NEW characters!

* * *

**Kimahri, Lulu, Yuffie and Seymour**

"Welcome back," Queen Luana smiles. "It's warm outside and my mum's cooking so we've moved the place to the garden. And hey, welcome to another episode of Whose Square is it Anyway? And tonight we have 'Zap' Lulu, 'Fling' Yuffie, 'Grumble' Kimahri and 'Pure evil' Seymour!"

"Yes, so the show is Whose Square is it anyway," SS Jentl takes over. "We ripped a formula, kidnapped a bunch of computer animated freaks and threw in a multicultural audience, and this is what we got."

"Just a quick reminder," Queen Luana says, "the points do not matter, in case you still haven't figured out. Yep, the points are as useless as Phoenix Downs in cutscenes! No seriously, what's the big idea! Aeris could've been okay…" She breaks down sobbing and everyone sweatdrops.

"But hey let's continue, before we've all melted," SS Jentl says.

"No kidding," Yuffie says. "I'm sweating from places I never thought I could. Fingertips, kneecaps, you name it." She lifts her bum from her chair for a moment.

"Let's just get this over with and get started with a game called 'whose line' for Yuffie and Kimahri," SS Jentl reads from the card and Luana hands both of them two strips of paper. "We've had some lines sent in by reviewers which we've written down on these lil' papers. They have to improvise a scene and use these lines as they go along. And the scene is… Yuna is about to perform her sending, but her rod is nowhere to be found. Guardians, take it away."

"It can't be too far," Yuffie says and looks around.

"Kimahri checked Yuna's room, no rod there," Kimahri says with little expression. "Maybe Yuna needs to do it without rod."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous," Yuffie says, "it's written in the teachings!" She nods and starts pulling out a strip. "It's written right there on page thirty-four… **I'll have a number six with extra mayonaise**." Both of them look puzzled for a moment. "Then when you go and look at page six," Yuffie continues, "you'll see it written there that the summoner must always use her rod to perform sendings."

"And the mayonaise?"

"That's just a little joke." They continue searching.

"Maybe Yuna can use Kimahri's spear," Kimahri then says and pretends to hold something out to Yuffie.

"Yes, that's a possibility," Yuffie mumbles and observes the invisible spear. "Oh, there's something written here."

"Yes, Kimahri wrote down personal message for Yuna," Kimahri says and pulls out one of his strips. "**I've got butter in my pants and I know it's turning you on.**"

Yuffie looks at him sweetly. "See you can do proper English if you try?" she smiles and Kimahri nods. She puts her hands on her hips. "Okay, so we've got your spear. But now we have to make it look like a rod."

"But how will we do that?" Kimahri asks.

"I don't know, Kimahri," Yuffie says. "But we'll work something out. Because no matter what happens, we must never forget the guardian's motto." She reads her second strip. "**Your mom is hot**." She hesitantly turns to explain. "Because, Kimahri. If all moms had been hot, perhaps Sin would've reconsidered and we wouldn't be in this mess right now."

"Kimahri agrees," he says and steps up. "Kimahri will never forget what Kimahri told his mother before she died."

Yuffie folds her hands sympathetically. "And what is that?" she asks as Kimahri pulls out his strip.

"**It's not easy being a poodle**." BUZZ!

"We'll save Kimahri the need to explain that," Queen Luana smiles. "And that great scene just earned you one point. And you'll need to share it because we're doing some budget cuts."

"Luana and I went to Las Vegas yesterday," SS Jentl explains, "spent tenthousand…"

"Twelvethousand," Luana corrects.

"Twelvethousand points on hookers and cheap beer." SS Jentl rearranges the cards. "And Queen Luana woke up beside this old wrinkled naked obese midget."

"Man, I must've been wasted."

"The midget told her," SS Jentl chuckles and gets hit on the head with the frying pan of doom.

"Let's end this chapter with a quick round of world's worst," Queen Luana grumbles and everyone steps up. "And I'm asking you to give me the world's worst hairstyles."

Everyone gives Seymour a meaningful look.

"You will all perish," he snaps.

"Yeah, okay, maybe that was a little too obvious," Jentl smirks, "the world's worst things to do at a wedding then."

"You will all perish," Seymour says. BUZZ!

"Boring," Yuffie says, "let's get Yuna to summon Ifrit." BUZZ!

"I do," Lulu smiles and then stares at the ceiling. "However…" BUZZ!

"Rinoa," Yuffie pretends to read from the bible, "do you take Squall as your lawfully wedded husband?" And then she shakes her head and mouthes 'no'. BUZZ!

Kimahri steps up solemnly. "Kimahri thinks mate looks fat in wedding dress." BUUUUUZZ!

SS Jentl smacks the table with her fists while roaring with laughter. "Oh my God, that was so funny!" She fans her face with the cards. "We'll be back…"

* * *

**Queen Luana**: (still lying on the floor unconsciously)

**SS Jentl: **Oh hey, it would be nice if we got some more requests cause we've practically done all of them by now and it's much more fun to do when we know what you'd like to see.


	9. Chapter 9

**SS Jentl : **We're baaaack !

**Queen Luana:** And it seems that more and more people have found out that we're not dead.

**SS Jentl: **(cuddles the reviews)

* * *

**Scenes from a hat**

"Welcome back to Whose Square," Queen Luana says and holds an ice pack against her head. "You know what's really funny. I hit Jentl over the head with the frying pan of doom and at the end of the chapter I'm the one lying on the ground unconsciously."

"The great law of Wicca," SS Jentl smiles. "I woke up next to three midgets."

"And by now it's gotten hotter than sex out here," Luana says and wipes the sweat of her forehead. "Seriously my shorts have melted together with my bum. It's shum. Or borts. And if you spell that differently you get a Russian beet soup."

"Long story short, yes, her bum is Russian beet soup," SS Jentl smiles. "Now that we've made that clear, let's go over to another game of Scenes from a hat. This time, we took all of Sky Bolt's ideas, mixed them with some of ours and put them in our cowboy hat. Fancy that. Okay, if all of you could step up. And hey, whoever we like most will get a towel."

The cast looks slightly more interested.

"Yeah, that's right," SS Jentl says. "I know you want it. And our first scene is… Crazy things to use as a weapon."

Yuffie runs over and takes the towel. She twirls it up and slashes it. BUZZ!

Yuffie holds out the towel but Queen Luana laughs and waves her hand. "Nah, you keep it."

Seymour pretends to be writing something on the blackboard. Then he holds out his hand with long sharp nails and runs it down the invisible blackboard meanwhile making a shrieking noise. BUZZ!

Lulu steps up. "Beware. My sharp sarcasm." BUZZ! "Oh yeah, that was _really_ impressive." BUUUUUZZ!

"And those poor monsters run off crying," Queen Luana sniggers. "Next card. Pointless ways to die."

Lulu walks up, leans over and pats her lap. "Come here, lil' Tonberry," she says, "come on! Come on! Come on, lil' Tonberry!" BUZZ!

Yuffie looks at something ahead of her. "What, so this is a Bomb?" she asks and starts poking it. "Doesn't do much, does it?" BUZZ!

Kimahri walks over to Seymour and starts waving his hands in front of his face. "Kimahri not touching you." BUZZ!

"For some reason it always sounds so much funnier when he says it," SS Jentl chuckles. She pulls out the next card. "What the monsters are thinking."

Lulu steps up and starts bobbing up and down. "Elemental magic huh?" she says mimicking a Flan. "Fine. As long as they don't find out I'm edible." BUZZ!

Yuffie waves her hands. "Peace! Love! Companionsh-" Lulu pretends to strike her down. BUZZ!

"Wow, Lulu and Yuffie are really taking the lead, here," Queen Luana says. "Next. When Sephiroth attacks."

Yuffie shrieks. "Oh my God! We better get out of here and…" She looks again and relaxes. "Oh, it's only Ansem." BUZZ!

"Yeah, why was Sephiroth so much tougher than Ansem?" Queen Luana says. "Really. Okay, one more for the road. Convention of the Squall fanclub."

Everyone steps up, arms crossed, says nothing for a while and then says: "Whatever." BUZZ!

"Okay, that's it for today," SS Jentl says as Luana keeps pressing the buzzer. "Do tune in next time for another exciting episode of Whose Square is it anyway! And review!"

* * *

**Queen Luana:** And yeah, Lulu's flan impression was a reference to what Rikku says the first time she encounters one.

**SS Jentl**: Yeah, she asks whether it's edible.

**Queen Luana:** Read and review! Or just review, whatever suits you! (puppy eyes)


	10. Chapter 10

**Queen Luana :** We're back whoot whoot !

**SS Jentl:** Queen Luana is focussing on her other fic, that's why it took a bit longer.

**Queen Luana:** It's called Chin up, girl. Go and read it. (loads shotgun) NOOOOW!

* * *

**Vaan, Roxas, Yuna and Seifer**

"Welcome back, everyone," SS Jentl smiles, "welcome to a brand new fresh episode of Whose Square is it anyway! On tonight's show: 'one day I'll fly away' Vaan, 'nobody knows' Roxas, 'if you say so' Yuna and 'touch me and you're dead' Seifer!"

"We're still Luana and Jentl and we're here to kick some ass and give some points while we're at it!" Queen Luana says. "Unfortunately they do not matter. That's right. The points are just like Final Fantasy X-2…"

"Ouch," SS Jentl says.

"Yeah, that's why we got the Final Fantasy X version," Luana says and nods in Yuna's direction. "Sorry pervy game-nerds. She's wearing her long skirt."

Some people in the audience: "Daaaaaamn."

"Oh and hey, if you were wondering how we get all the bad guys on the show," Queen Luana whispers, "we drug them! And we drug them good."

Seifer drools.

"Okay, he wasn't exactly a bad guy, but come on, look at him." She pokes Seifer who starts to smile. "Isn't he cute."

"Yeah, but now that you mentioned drugs we have to raise our rating," SS Jentl says.

"T is for teletubbies," Seifer murmurs and the other three move their chairs a few meters away from him.

"Okay, and until he gains consciousness again," SS Jentl says, "we'll continue with a game of 'Two line vocabulary', this is for Vaan, Roxas and Yuna."

The three of them step up. "The three of them will act out a scene," she explains, "and Vaan gets to say anything he wants, but Yuna and Roxas only get to say two lines. It's really annoying." She chuckles. "Oh yeah. Well, Roxas, your lines are 'Say what?' and 'Burn!'"

He nods with a grin.

"And Yuna, your lines are 'I don't know' and 'Look at the size of that!'"

Yuna frowns and then giggles.

"And the scene is," SS Jentl continues, "Vaan is leading a mission to try and steal an airship and Yuna and Roxas are his helpful henchmen. Take it away."

Vaan looks up and puts his hands on his hips. "Wow, it's even bigger than I thought it would…"

"Look at the size of that!" Yuna screams and Vaan nods.

"I know it's huge," he says. "Okay guys, I think there's no one around, let's try and get inside."

"Say what?" Roxas asks.

"I said there's no one near so we can try and get inside."

"I don't know," Yuna says and looks around doubtfully. She gasps and points at something ahead of her. "Look at the size of that!"

"Yeah that's a pretty big rock," Vaan agrees.

Roxas runs forward. "Burn!"

"No, no, what have I told you about burning rocks!" Vaan snaps and holds him back at his shoulder.

"I don't know," Yuna shrugs.

Vaan sighs. "I told you that we shouldn't do it."

"Burn!" Roxas hisses.

"Hey, drop the attitude, mister!" Vaan warns him.

Yuna points at the vein pumping on his forehead. "Oh, look at the size of that!"

"Okay, listen, both of you," Vaan says and pulls them in close. "Now we're going to try and focus so we can get on the airship and away from this place."

Both of them are silent for a moment. "Say what?" Roxas then asks.

Yuna shakes her head. "I don't know."

"Burn!"

Vaan holds him back. "No, we're not going to burn people for being ignorant."

Roxas lowers his head.

"So, let's get to it people," Vaan says. "Come on."

"Look at the size of _that_!"

"Yes, it's a big ship all right?!"

Yuna shakes her head and points at Queen Luana's ass. "Look at the size of THAT!" BUZZ!

The three of them sit down.

"Hey, thousand points to Yuna for stating the obvious," SS Jentl smiles and get slapped in the head with the frying pan of doom.

"And stay down!" Queen Luana says and puts the pan away again. "Now we definitely have to put the rating up because Yuna suggested the A-word." Queen Luana shakes her head with a sigh. "Spineless Yuna, of all people."

"I'm the FFX Yuna with the FFX-2 attitude," she smiles sweetly.

"I can live with that," Queen Luana nods, "and hey, is Seifer awake yet?"

Zell runs up from the audience and slaps him, waits and slaps him a few more times. Then he runs back. "Nope."

"Okay then," Luana says. "Oh yeah, we keep all the characters that have already been on the show and put them in the audience. So next time you try to open your save file and they're not there…" She raises her eyebrows a few times.

Zell runs up again and smacks Seifer another time.

"Well, we'll be back in less than a week. Hopefully Seifer will have gained consciousness by then. Goodnight."

* * *

**Queen Luana:** Yeah, it's short but I'm leaving for three days tomorrow morning so I thought I'd post something. Anyway, review! I expect reviews when I get back. (loads bazooka)


	11. Chapter 11

**Queen Luana: **Chapter number eleven!

**SS Jentl**: It's shiny!

* * *

**But why are the biscuits gone?**

"Hey, I know, I know," SS Jentl begins, "it's been over a week. We kind of forgot we promised that."

"I've been writing about zombie bashing," Queen Luana smiles and points at her Resident Evil 4 fic. "I think some of the audience members starved to death…"

"Luckily enough, none of the current cast did," SS Jentl says, "and Seifer's been awake for a while too. So, that leaves us with a great four people game: Song titles!"

Audience cheers as the cast steps up.

"Seifer and Yuna get to go first," SS Jentl says. "They have to act out a scene, but all they can use is song titles."

"Song titles it is," Queen Luana agrees, "and hey! If anyone of you mentions a Tokio Hotel title-", pulls out bazooka, "I _will_ kill you." She puts it away again. "But some Dutch songs no one has ever heard of will earn you more points. As for the scene… Romance emerges at the Garden Festival. She's all yours."

Yuna is dancing when Seifer makes a move. "Hot," he smirks.

Yuna turns around and smiles at him. "Hey ya!"

Seifer shakes her hand. "I'm the walrus."

"Roxanne," Yuna smiles.

"Sexy thing," he says.

Yuna smiles shyly then goes off. "This isn't my kind of game."

Roxas takes over. He walks over and pretends to _accidentally_ spill a drink on Seifer's shirt. "Oops I did it again!" He flutters his eyelashes. "Dance dance?"

"Beat it," Seifer snaps.

Roxas stares at his invisible drink. "Too bad." Then he blinks at Seifer in confusion and takes a closer look. "Lola?" He beams. "Lola!"

Seifer shakes his head and goes off.

Vaan smirks. "Sex on the beach?"

"Whenever wherever!"

Vaan leers at him and caresses his cheek. "Pretty woman…"

Roxas screams and runs off. Yuna steps up. "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman."

Vaan looks at her bum. "Big girl."

Yuna raises an eyebrow and folds her arms. "Excuse me, mister?"

Vaan shakes his head and points to his left. "Honey, this mirror isn't big enough for the two of us." BUZZ! He looks up.

SS Jentl nudges Queen Luana. "No, it really is a song."

"Oh, sorry, continue," Queen Luana smiles.

Yuna glares at him. "Crazy!"

Vaan shrugs and goes off. "I just wanted to say the mirror thing."

Seifer steps up. "Daar in dat kleine café aan de haven." BUUUUUZZ!

Queen Luana chuckles. "A thousand and two points to Seifer for using a Dutch song that had absolutely nothing to do with the topic."

"Well, it all depends on how you look at it," SS Jentl says.

Seifer nods. "It had a meaning, a very romantic one at that."

"Let's continue," Queen Luana says, "yes, because it took so long to update were throwing in two games, how sweet are we? The next game is a similar game called Questions only! It's really fun; we've done it before. They can only use questions in this scene. Cause if they don't, they'll get buzzed." She presses the buzzer dramatically. "The scene is… The next meeting of Organization XIII is about to take place, but they've run out of biscuits. Roxas and Vaan, take it away."

Roxas steps up. "What will we do?"

"Are the biscuits _really _that necessary?" Vaan sighs.

Roxas looks at him in shock. "Who _are_ you?"

"I'm just trying to say that… Oh craps," Vaan mumbles. BUZZ!

Seifer walks in. "Will cookies do as well?"

Roxas slaps him in the head. "Are you stupid?"

"Why'd you do that?" Seifer asks in tears.

Roxas rubs his head. "Ow, did it hurt?"

"Yes…" BUZZ!

"Roxas is really kicking ass," SS Jentl smiles.

Vaan enters again. "Why do you not bow for your superior?"

"Haven't we got worse thing on our minds?" Roxas asks.

Vaan checks his watch. "When does the meeting begin?"

Roxas twitches. "At four…" BUZZ!

Yuna steps in. "What do you think I've got?"

"Biscuits?" Vaan asks enthusiastically.

Yuna watches him closely. "Is that your final answer?"

He scratches his head. "Can I call somebody?"

Yuna smiles. "Who would you like to call?"

Vaan thinks for a moment. "Rick." BUZZ!

Seifer steps up. "Who am I?" He pretends to press the buzzer. BUUUUUZZ!

Queen Luana glares at Seifer. "And that's two thousand points to anyone but Seifer which means that he is the sole loser. I can say whatever I want because whoever keeps track of points is mentally ill."

"We've come to the end of this episode and our loser may close it by reading the credits as if he's coming on to them. Goodnight!"

Seifer leers at the credits rolling over the screen. "Jentl, well that is a _lovely_ name. How would you like to join me and my friend Dan over here? We could invite Tom Park and just have ourselves some biscuits…"

* * *

**Queen Luana: '**t Is done! I'm off tomorrow at work (need to watch over some brats for an entire day but hey! I just let them play hide and seek and I get paid nine euros an hour for it. Whoot whoot!)

**SS Jentl: **Review! Your call is important to us. (muzak)


	12. Chapter 12

**Queen Luana :** Guess what ? Both Jentl and I died but now that we've been resurected, we can get back to doing some more improvising.

**SS Jentl:** I'm so stiff right now.

* * *

**Axel, Penelo, Zack and Tifa**

"Hey, we have no idea whether we've invited any of our guests yet, but we're to lazy to go and check," Jentl smiles. "So welcome to a new whose square is it anyway! On tonight's show: I can be your hero, Axel! I need a hero, Penelo! I want to become a hero, Zack! And has anyone seen yesterday's Heroes, Tifa!"

"We're the weirdest hosts you'll ever see," Queen Luana smiles, "and we bring to you Whose Square is it Anyway? The Square version of a popular improv show that shall remain nameless. What we can tell you is that the point don't matter. That's right, the points are just like friends when you've got aeons."

"They are so cool," Jentl drools.

"We'll get this show started with, oh let's say, a game of Number of Words! This is for everyone. Our performers have to act out the scene but the thing is, we give them a number of words to which they have to stick. Axel, you always have to use four words. Penelo you always have to use three words. Zack, you always have to use two words and Tifa you can only use one word."

They all look utterly confused.

"I ain't repeating it!" SS Jentl smiles. "The scene is: Sora and the gang are infiltrating the World that never was. You are the four remaining members of Organization thirteen trying to stop them. Take it away."

"Look!" Tifa cries and points.

"What should we do?" Axel asks them.

"I don't know!" Penelo cries panicky.

"Oops…" Tifa mumbles.

"She turned off the…" Axel starts then realises and shuts his mouth.

"The what?" Zack asks him.

"The shield!" Axel cries and hesitates. "The shield!"

"They're coming in!" Penelo shrieks.

"Cover!" Tifa cries and ducks behind her chair.

"He's using his keyblade!" Axel says.

"He's destroying it," Penelo says.

"Destroying what?" Zack asks.

"Not the vending machines," Axel whines.

"Whiner," Tifa says and rolls her eyes.

"Shouldn't we…" Zack says and makes weird hand gestures.

"Shouldn't we what?" Penelo asks.

"Do something?" he finishes.

They look at Tifa. "Yeah," she agrees.

"There goes our wall," Axel says and they all watch something falling to the ground.

"That's gotta hurt," Penelo says.

"Pour Ansem… the wise," Axel says.

They're silent for a moment then Tifa extends her hand. "Popcorn?" BUZZZZ!

"Two points for Tifa, ladies and gentlemen," SS Jentl smiles.

"I'm going to London tomorrow," Queen Luana smiles. "And we're letting our wonderful casts sit here until we get back in five days."

"Pour guys," Jentl chuckles. "We'll get you a souvenir."

"And some crackers."

"Well, goodnight everyone! Don't forget to send in your suggestions!" SS Jentl smiles. "And maybe some sandwiches for these guys."

* * *

**Queen Luana:** Review and perhaps I'll see you in London! If you see three clueless girls, two tall blondes and a shorter dark blonde girl strolling around with a map: I'm the short one!


End file.
